Last night was the “Supermoon” of 2013 and I had no idea until our friends and neighbors Brandon and June came over to bring back some dishes. They were going to look at the moon but it was too cloudy. I popped my head out of our back window and say a bright and obscured moon so I grabbed the gear and got to it.
I setup the tripod and started to shoot away. We have some trees covering the bike trail out behind the house and the moon was just low enough to get me some sweet silhouette action. I am firing away about to go inside when someone at the neighbor’s the next house over starting peering over the fence. They have a hot tub and often have their college age friends over to use it. This girl starts yelling, “Hey! Hey, you with the camera! What do you think you are doing? Why do you have the big lens on your camera?” I told her that I was shooting the moon because it was so bright. She didn’t believe me and accused me of being a peeping Tom. There is a fence between our yard and theirs so I couldn’t even see over there anyway.
I quickly realized that she had been drinking a lot and just wanted to stir something up. She grabs her boyfriend and start telling him he should kick my “pervy ass.” I don’t do well with confrontation so I grabbed the tripod and headed inside. My heart was racing at this point and I didn’t know what to do. I could hear these people shouting at me through the door while I was getting the gear packed up. Mari Ann came in and asked what the hell was going on. After a couple of minutes, they stopped. I watched TV with Mari Ann until about 1am, and then we went to bed. By this time it sounded like the party was over or they had all gone inside.
There I am sleeping soundly in my bed when I hear something hit the window. I don’t know if it was a rock or a bird or what it was. I am still kind of asleep and not really processing things well and I see an orange flickering out of the window. It looked like a scarecrow or something they had thrown over the fence and set on fire. I immediately went into full-fledged panic mode. I was like a light switch was flipped. I hear our back door being pounded on very hard. They boyfriend was kicking it down. I froze with there in the kitchen. I could see the wood frame splintering and then the door flung open and this sweaty buzz cut guy in a Denver Broncos jersey come into my house shouting about how he is going to kill me because his girlfriend left the party and broke up with him for not standing up for her.
I can barely remember the rest, but the fight response must have been stronger then the flight so I grabbed a kitchen knife thinking that seeing an 8 inch pointed knife would make him back down and go home. It didn’t, and started towards me. As he moved into the light I now could see why this was happening. He was a Superwerewolf! He pulled out a set on ninja stars and began throwing them at me 2 at a time. I dodged them like a cat, threw my knife down and started using my skills in karate I had learned from my youth and disarmed him. I mean literally, I pulled his arms off of his torso and began beating him in the face with them. I them smeared his blood on my face and yelped out a Comanche war cry while tearing of my t-shirt. As my rock hard abs glistened in the moonlight, I lit up a cigar and began to think about the crazy mixed up world we live in. I leaned down to him and I said “What do you want from us monster?!” He peered up at me and said, “I need about tree fiddy.”
Excellent!